When you think that when you leave your city with everything that you have inside, that when you go to another city you’ll leave everything behind.
Well it’s not going that way, especially when you sit in this new town alone, for a long time.
I’m in Jeddah, KSA now, having some family time, mind time, and indulging alone, in a deeper way…
Mind time/ Normal Days:
I don’t know why, but it’s always like that, when you’re not in your city, you see all the world like a different place, your life, you think too much about what you’ve done, had to do, will be done, and things that doesn’t suppose to come to your mind. Being here, not only made me think about every step that I took in my life, it made me realize how much mistakes that I did in this life, at least in my twenties, the over thinking wont leave me, I come with great ideas (sounds great at first) but as soon as I think about it for more than 3 min., I realize how my brain can lead me to places more stupid than it ever gone, because it could really analyze it for me, make it sound pretty good and related to logic, but at the end, it all evaporate to a mistake that I’ve done before and can’t believe how I could think about doing it again!
Good music to your head never hurt, but in my case it would, because it’s really devil music and I actually start to sound like mom.
Eating a lot wont help either, makes it worse, even if it’s a world of junk food and Oreos (the food here is the greatest bless, in my case it’s a curs), there’s really reaaallly good fast food here, and now it makes me sick of how much I’ve been eating, hint I’m shewing a Oreo.
Family just makes you so busy with them, even if you’re not moving an inch, it’s always everything not in place and everyone is running and if you took a real far away picture, you’ll see there’s nothing they have to chase or run for, but it’s always in this way and it frustrate me and I’m always like an angry new yorker woman, there’s always that distraction that never ends, only at 12am I could back to mind time/normal days mode.
I go out, also with my mind who is helpful this time, and I have to mention the girls. The girls here looks so nicely groomed. There’s a lot of great bags floating on the streets (bag’s here is the no.1 accessory), with the abaya flying behind them that couldn’t be more attractive, yes they’re all in abayas but that what makes it so over blowing, like how you all could manage to dress in one black long look like silk coat and still look different and pretty? a tough equation that I’ve learned long time ago because it’s really not my first time here, but like every other city there is the copy cats and the trends girls that you can see here and there as well.
I don’t really have any home sickness (maybe because I’ve been here for just about 4 weeks now). Ok it’s only that time when all my college friends had a reunion, and I couldn’t be there, that’s one thing I wanted to be in, even if it makes you feel like a loser at the end of the reunion that everyone’s a successful woman and all you do is just watching Rick Owens shows all the day, with more Oreos.
It’s not bad at anytime of my day, but in that moment (when my best friend went to that reunion and told me about every success experience) I felt like a loser.
I think about my friends all the time, no doubt because I don’t have one here, and it’s not that difficult to contact them, but that much time spending alone, with your mind, and heart, could really leads to a series of shit.
If that happened to you, and you felt alone in another city, how your mind could twist you? or how twisted the mind you have already!? and how would you spend that twisted time together?
I know that Jeddah would be great if I have one of my friends here, at least there’s a Céline here we could look at!