I am an experienced in this area, having the perfect tan is the easiest thing to do in summer, and the most rewarding as well, you’ll find yourself glowing, have that sun kissed skin and the most flattering defined fake structure afterwards, we all wait for summer to level our base color a few shades darker than our raw one, and it feels so good, ah, only if you do it right, right? Let’s stop the acting and be honest, it feels so good yeah, but it’s not an easy task to do, getting burned is the number one thing that makes me resent the whole process, because I’m also very greedy, I want the whole thing happen on one day and not building it up, crazy!

Like the day before yesterday, I just was chilling and celebrating the hell coming to our earth (yea it was 111° F, I kid ya not, middle-east, hello! We’re cool.), and having a roof BBQ party over one of my friend’s rooftop, just imagine it, grilling some chicken while you’re grilled at the same time. Oh, wait a minute, Did you stupidly totally forget about your sunscreen? You didn’t!!!! Ok, how about everyone else, guys!? You’re kidding right.

Well, it wasn’t that big of a deal at first, I’m not planning to have some color anyway, I was dressed up in a tank top and a mid length skirt, and there’s not that much of skin exposed to that hell, right!? As a matter of fact, It’s really cool to have some red cheeks from the sun…

After having a wonderful time, eating and laughing at my friend’s sensitive skin getting burned in front of our eyes, me feeling a little bit of a sun getting through my exposed skin and didn’t give a damn (it’s okay, I’m not that sensitive, I’ll get through it), I mean really, it was pretty easy getting some protection from any store around us, we weren’t at the middle of the desert or something! but we didn’t give a damn, we have some chickens to grill/ dance are you crazy!!?

Right after eating, I started to feel some serious burning, I ran for a quick check and find a RED, crocodile skin-like lady looking back at me at the mirror, I’m not sure who was she! At this point I felt the burn more and more as I had a severe tank burning lines, You know those old red men at the beach who are getting tan with the t-shirts on, I’m on of them now.

Every move I make with my arms reminds me of how stupid I am. Ah, and I forgot to tell you about my face, imagine a red nose, a degrade colored forehead, and some red cheeks, (exactly what I waned right!!!!), shut up.

I’ve tried to put some lotions and creams to sooth me a bit, nothing works, I need a miracle cream that give me a balanced skin, exfoliating helps but not on burned skin at all, so it will never happen because I’ll have an after burning black arms, stupid lines on my back and two tones on each leg, and that’s a case of a stupid body mind people.

Yesterday, I met other friends, we met at that coffee shop which the electricity was off when I arrived to them so they didn’t see me, hence my friends are big warmly huggers, so imagine tapping and squeezing some of your burned back and arms, I screamed like hell, and they screamed back at me when the light came back and saw a tomato head setting in front of them, shockingly laughing at me, I’m laughing at myself, we had a blast from my burns, I’ve a half burned/tanned body and I really want to take it of my head.

Is lemons paths really works? Are they only for fake tans?

Now, the important question is, How in the hell I’ll get my perfect fully tanned body this summer? Suggestions are more than welcome.

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