Laughing out loud in closed areas is not that pretty, specially if you have a high tone laugh, you’ll grab attention and you might be annoying for some, that’s what I always do and what my friends don’t like sometimes, but if you have braces it’s a different story, you’ll grab more attention, everybody will look at you like if you’re ready to devour someone alive…

I’m still so fine with that. I don’t care bae.

But what about pictures, taking pictures with friends? normal right, what if your friend decided to make you one of her bridesmaids? despite of a dress that won’t be my choice in a million year (knowingly that I choose the design and made it from scratch), there will be a photo session you suppose to smile and be merry in it, the first thought came to my head that this will be a -historic moments- that will be archived, so I’ve to look my best in it! 

Smiling with a full open mouth will neither gonna be glamorous nor pretty in my situation, (knowing that the spaces between my teeth are huge you could insert other teeth between them) and who wants to see that much teeth and metal in a wedding photo album!? not me, and no one else.

So there was no way for an open mouth smile, instead I’ll go for a small closed mouth smile. Instead of cheese, I’ll say mmm…

I was all put together, beautiful small smile, my eyes making a huge part of this smile, so I was relaxed I knew exactly what to do, relaaaxx give the eyes chance to pop, I’m already the first girl in the line since I’m the tallest, so I’ll be on focus, nothing to worry about, I forgot about the hideous dress that I’ve made and worn willingly. The line was set, it was shooting time…

I’m having fun, we all do, we all laughing about the posses the camera man made us do around the bride, the groomsmen arrived and it was a contentious of the fun, the shoot is finally over and I felt great… until…

What was that!!!???? Maryam said (my friend who wasn’t a bridesmaid but saw the whole thing),

I know right! the camera man is so funny! I said,

No, What was wrong with your face!? you’re not smiling!

No, it’s just my braces, I was smiling, small smile. But I was!

I dropped the whole subject assuring her of what I did, I totally was smiling, I was happy because one of my besties is getting married, no worries here.

Two month later and when I totally forgot about that thing, my friend sent the pictures for me, and regardless of what the camera man did, the images turned out pretty good actually, the only problem is I wasn’t smiling, at all. In fact I looked so frustrated, upset, far away from smiling and in some, very angry actually, maybe because of the camera man…

What I knew about my face and my face expressions, the braces completely changed it. And how come I wasn’t aware of that, I’m already not very smiley person-mouth closed, but the braces here made it a lot worse.

Not even a beginning of a smile showed in the pictures, i got upset, how that happened, what I thought will be a history tragedy if I smiled big smile, turned out to be a real tragedy because of what I did and thought was right.

Now, after thinking, I know that the braces won’t be showing that much in pictures, it’s not that bad nor a big deal, and after that experience, I’ll laugh out loud without thinking about it, like in my normal days, it doesn’t matter, I know I’ll miss my braces one day -after a million day maybe, so I’ll laugh now to laugh about it later, even if I’m in a photo session for Vogue. It’s my smile now, I’ll live LOLing.

Image: The beautiful Sidney Williams by Jeff Burton for 10 Magazine Spring 2011.

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