Have you ever wondered why we sometimes can be over judgmental? Okayyy all the time.
For me, I know that I always judge people, I know that in myself and I don’t deny it, there’s that small talk that also happen between myself and my mind in my mind’s living room, they set there and point everything out from the first sight.
Oh look at her look, I really Love it and I don’t love that easy…
Omg really? How she could think that’s a good outfit? she’s not even feeling comfortable in it…
Why he’s so cocky even if he has self-esteem problems anyone can smell!…
Why she’s over reacting? And everybody’s believing it!…
Oh god that perfume smell so bad, I can’t… oh and the caky face!… should I tell her!?…
I really need to chill.
Either it’s good or bad judgment, I can’t stop judging people, even if I don’t say it out loud, in my head, the talk keep flowing there, yes there’s some positions that you could be in to just judge (like a fashion show), here I take the full ride and enjoy it.
The bad judgement mostly comes in the first impression, a body gesture, a style! God it’s always about the style, face impressions, knowing that I’m the worst at the last, but you get it now, I’m one of the people who can not shut her mind, sometimes I shut it, and sometimes I enjoy the conversation! (when I really dislike that person).
The best part when someone makes me go all over my head and proves me wrong, in just a second, like that person you notice that they’re so cocky and all of a sudden they help you like they knew you from a long time and believe in you. Hence, I start to think more and more about that.
When you’re someone who judge all the way, she can be the worst judge on herself too, AND I’M THE WORST OF THE WORST, not all the time or have to be about some self-esteem issues as I don’t have any, but like anyone else, sometimes I go hard on myself, mostly about the outfits, like what are you representing with that anyway!? ha! Dress like you feel and do not copyy! I know you’re inspired and all but that’s totally coping hun!! and what is that longgg hair, Are going hippie right now, because if you said so, I will shut up about the whole subject but it looks unbearable and you even can’t brush it anymore, plus you look like your face was hit by a bus other than the pale combination, would you do something about it!
That’s when I abandon the mind/self conversation for good.
That said, the worst is when you really disbelieve your instincts and the mind/ self conversation on how stupid/ignorant/jackass this person —that you know already very well— is and just in a matter of days (or minutes if you wanted to be shorter you make it with just a one simple question or act) they prove that your instincts has won here. Disappointment has just rise to the roof here. It’s not about the expectations as it’s you hope for the best here because you trust this person more than you trust your guts, more than he trust himself actually, but here in this moment, you find out that you got it all wrong, you know nothing and you can’t ignore that feeling that hurts so bad.
You learn the lesson and you keep that in mind, that judgment is fun when you only play with it, as long as you take it as a game not a lifestyle, and not more serious than just a comment on a look or a behavior you can laugh about (yourself/with those people) while not hurting anyone.
And as I still wonder, Why we sometime have the worst impression about someone we don’t know? Even if it’s proven more than a 100 times that they could be better than a longtime trusty person that was there in the worst half of our lives and simply walk away?
